There are some aspects of my third pregnancy that have been pretty magical, especially my oldest being aware of what'southward happening. And and so at that place are some symptoms that are still incredibly real and heightened miserably- especially with two toddlers running around.

As I write this, I'g entering my second trimester and already feeling the symptoms of the first trimester fade away.  Thank goodness. I feel very optimistic of what'due south ahead. This mail service is purely a capture of everything I have experienced and felt so far in this journeying- not just physical changes but besides feelings on finding out the gender of our third baby.

The Good

Older Kids More than Excited

When I was pregnant with my second son Ellis, my offset son Miles was 22 months. He was unimpressed, lol.  The whole idea was but over his head at that age.  This time around, he just turned four and is and then ambrosial. He understands that we are expecting a new baby and says things like, "I can't wait to meet him!",  "So when the babe is done growing in your belly, he'll be born and then grow bigger like Ellis and I?" and besides some wonderings, "When you eat and so, yous share your food with the baby?"

It's pretty special to share this experience with 1 of your children and take him really take interest in our growing family and ask such thoughtful questions. Ellis on the other paw is 2 and said, "I don't want to be a big brother, I desire to be Ellis!" That response is soo him.  He will be almost 3 when the infant comes and is a really loving kid then I'm sure he'll be enamored too.  The abstruse concept volition probably non connect with him though until he meets the new addition.

Y'all know what to Expect

This isn't my first rodeo.  There is peace in having experience. That can't be denied. I don't constantly research every feeling or symptom.  I know what symptoms are serious and which ones are "normal". This helps to requite myself a petty more slack. I was broken-hearted about my first md's date to get a confirmation of the footling babe that was in there. Just now, I'm trying to just take every day one at a time.

The Not then Adept

Very Aware and Ill

I've read other third pregnancy accounts where moms take said that it was but flight past and they didn't have fourth dimension to fifty-fifty call up about being meaning.  Not having fourth dimension is very truthful.  I am chasing ii active toddlers around and it'south very difficult to only focus on beingness meaning.  Simply I have been the sickest this pregnancy and that makes it really hard to forget I'm pregnant.

With my showtime, I maybe threw up once. I would always have crackers on my nightstand, and consume a couple in the morn earlier getting upwardly. That worked beautifully. Same with my second pregnancy, a little nauseous in the morning just then it would go away. This time I threw up probably Every. Single. Morning for at least a month.  And then also many afternoons. The grand finale was having to tell a cab driver to pull over and so I could get sick on the side of the road.  I always thought I'd exist drunk and leaving the best party ever if that happened to me.  Simply no.  That was not the example.

So yep, it's hard to "forget" y'all are pregnant when that is happening. Peculiarly when my oldest would  ask me every morning if I was going to throw upwards before we left the house. That's how used to it he was.

Fatigue

The exhaustion is notwithstanding very existent.  I was staying up after the kids went to bed to piece of work on my weblog and other work I had.  That ended really chop-chop after I got pregnant. Past the time we put them downwards, I was simply sooo tired.  Too, at that place was a fear I'd get sick once more if I stayed awake so it was merely safer all effectually for me to go to sleep.

As I write this, I am officially xiv weeks tomorrow. I haven't gotten ill in a week and I'thousand already feeling a footling more energetic.  It feels adept to be more than productive again, because even if I effort to remind myself that I am significant and it's function of growing a human- the to practise listing doesn't go away.

Conflicting Emotions

Initial Gender Discovery

This is probably the hardest for me to write about.  But if you lot are in my inner circumvolve at all, I wasn't quiet about what I wanted. After ii boys, I wanted a girl.  Really I've wanted a girl from the beginning, simply since this is planned to be our terminal baby- I really wanted a girl this fourth dimension. The feeling was heightened and combined with pregnancy hormones.

My pregnancy beingness then dissimilar this time fabricated me feel like I was maybe having a daughter. They say yous are sicker with girls, then of form! Also, everyone around me was convinced we were having a girl likewise.  I've realized at present that'southward a societal expectation- everyone will say you are having the opposite of what you already have.

I am 35 so had my genetics examination done around 12 and one/2 weeks.  They requite yous 7-x days and telephone call yous with the results.  If y'all choose to notice out, they'll allow you know the gender.  Of course I wanted to know.  They called me on twenty-four hour period 7 and confirmed this babe was ALL Male person.

I cried. A lot. And you know what- I'm not going to say I experience guilty about information technology.  Because human beings are circuitous.

Emotions are complex. Y'all can feel differing emotions simultaneously.

I needed the space to mourn the thought of mothering a girl. Information technology was an thought and a dream that I've wanted for so long and it was officially never going to happen. And it's not merely almost frilly dresses, I wanted the experience of raising both genders and what it would be like for me- and my husband- to parent a daughter.

Those feelings don't mean that I wasn't grateful for the little boy growing inside of me. Or grateful that I could accept another healthy baby. Or happy that we were blessed with this family unit.  Considering all of those feelings were still at that place.

Many women have these feelings and they feel guilty because gender tin seem very petty and superficial in the thousand scheme of things. And sure, peradventure it is a footling bit. While information technology may seem trivial, nosotros all have dreams and vision of what our family volition look like. Experiencing the loss of a dream are still valid feelings to work through.

I gave myself time to have those feelings and talk to my husband and family unit virtually it.  After two days, I was ready to move on. I read a few other posts near gender thwarting and it really helped me process my feelings and motion past them. This is one of my favorites where she writes a letter to her daughter, proverb cheerio to the vision she created of her.  I cried ugly tears reading this,  since I found it that first mean solar day and information technology really spoke to what I was feeling. As I read it again, this paragraph stuck with me and kind of created a footing of moving forward.

And considering of that, it is with a tear filled face up only excitement in my center that today I say goodbye to the dream you were. Y'all agree the dreams of my by and to agree on to you any longer takes moments away from my precious boys. At this betoken to want y'all hither ways one of them would non BE. And as I anxiously await the inflow our newest, and our terminal picayune I cannot imagine life without ANY of them. They are each so special to me and I beloved them beyond imagination. And you lot meet, they deserve all of me, non just the broken pieces. And I deserve to have complete, whole happiness in each of them. From this signal forward I am all in. They are each the dreams of my present, and the dreams of my future.

Dreams of our Futurity

I started to imagine what my family IS going to expect like. And get excited for it. What my future has in store for me and my amazing lilliputian boys. While I have 3 sisters and 1 brother, I grew upwardly with 2 sisters.  And I am shut to both. We did so much together like choreograph dances, sing all the songs to Grease, play clothes up– and we were truly a little tribe. My three boys tin can totally have that similar experience. Whatsoever that will look similar for them.

At that place are so many benefits to having a 3rd male child- allow's not forget how much coin we will save. I would have nigh definitely gone overboard on the girl stuff, clothes and all the things. I started to imagine this little baby boy and what he could be like and my dear has only grown. And that doesn't hateful that the love wasn't already there or that I want to replace him with a daughter.

If you lot are having similar feelings, know that it won't last forever. From what I've read, information technology's lasted throughout the whole pregnancy for some, but right when they met their little baby- the feelings macerated.

My advice is to let yourself feel. When you feel guilty and suppress your emotions, you aren't giving yourself the infinite to fully deal with them. Working through those thoughts lets yous go to the other side. Where you start rejoicing and planning the family you lot were MEANT to accept.

Excitement!

Here are my 2 boys announcing their baby blood brother. Aren't they adorable??? Information technology's going to be pretty cool to see what this 3rd piddling guy brings to the mix.

third pregnancy, third boy announcement, gender disappointment, three brothers, pregnancy announcement

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